The 2009 schedule has been released by the NFL.  Therefore it is time to make a half-assed guess on how many wins the Dolphins will have during the regular season.

Last year the Dolphins went 11-5 playing an easier schedule than they got this year. But they should be a better team than last year.  The 2 main keys to wins this year are the run blocking up the middle and the pass rush. If both are there, life will be good for the Fins. If not, it could be a long season. 

My gut says the Fins will go 9-7.  But as I went through and applied a "rigorous analysis" to each game, the result was 11-5.  Here's my tongue-in-cheek game by game predictions.

Sept. 13 - at Atlanta Falcons - 1:00 p.m. - CBS: Tough game, both sides a little rusty but our QB has a good day and theirs doesn't. The main difference? The new and improved "Ronnie and Ricky Running Show" [with guest appearances by P Cobbs]. Fins win.  That's assuming Ronnie is still a Fin come September. If he is not it will be the "Ricky and Cobbs Running Show." 

Sept. 21 - Indianapolis Colts - 8:30 P.M. - ESPN: Peyton, like Brady, is a passer that can make the defenses look like a bunch of maroons. But Peyton, like Brady, isn't used to getting hit or hurried.  When they are, they get flustered.  So..... helped by the Fins first draft pick, the pass rush continually gets to Peyton and by the end of the night he's got happy feet. Fins win.

Sept. 27 - at San Diego Chargers - 4:15 p.m. - CBS: The Dolphins are somewhat distracted by an ocean with hills in front of it. Plus the trip to TJ to see donkey shows the night before doesn't help. Fins lose.

Oct. 4 - Buffalo Bills - 4:05 P.M. - CBS: T.O. is only a mild irritant to the Bills but they still suck. Fins win.

Oct. 12 - New York Jets - 8:30 P.M. - ESPN: Incoherent from tailgating all day and evening, Jets fans in the stadium are mostly passed out on national TV. Those that are awake try their silly chant but forget what comes after "J". JT flies in from New England just to taunt them. Fins win at home.

Oct. 18 - Bye Weekend: Ecstatic over their 4-1 start, Dolfans are thinking "HOME FIELD ADVANTAGE IN THE SUPERBOWL!!!!" Silly Dolfans.

Oct. 25 - New Orleans Saints - 4:15 P.M. - FOX: Dolfans get an acute case of QB envy and what-if-itis. Fins lose. Many Dolfans throw Pennington under the bus and cry for Henne.

Nov. 1 - at New York Jets - 1:00 p.m. - CBS: Pennington shows the home crowd why they shouldn't have traded him. Jets team still searching for someone to snap the ball to. Fins win. Henne can wait.

Nov. 8 - at New England Patriots - 1:00 p.m. - CBS: Revenge is a dish best served cold. Belichick unveils 7 new formations just for the Dolfins including the "Wild hippo" featuring Vince Wilfork, the "Hungry cheetah double reverse" and the never-to-be-seen-again "Wildebeest passing wedge." Fins lose and have a strange feeling Marlin Perkins drew up the plays and they were Jim Fowler.

Nov. 15 - Tampa Bay Buccaneers - 1:00 P.M. - FOX: Bad year all around for pirates. Fins win.

Nov. 19 - at Carolina Panthers - 8:20 p.m. - NFLN: Fins lose but it's OK, nobody saw it outside of Miami and Charlotte.

Nov. 29 - at Buffalo Bills - 1:00 p.m. - CBS: T.O. now officially malignant and demands that he be the QB so he can get himself the ball enough. The Bills still suck. Fins win.

Dec. 6 - New England Patriots- 8:20 P.M. - NBC: This time revenge is a dish best served by Joey Porter and the defense. Brady resembles a deer caught in the headlights most of the game. Fins win and have swagger.

Dec. 13 - at Jacksonville Jaguars - 1:00 p.m. - CBS: Win some.

Dec. 20 - at Tennessee Titans - 1:00 p.m. - CBS: Lose some.

DEC. 27 - Houston Texans - 1:00 P.M. - CBS: In a squeaker, the wildcat is used the only time this season when Ronnie throws a 2 point PAT to Ricky to win the game. The Fins FINALLY beat the Texans ! Thanks to an improved O-Line, Ronnie and Ricky both have 1,000 yard seasons.

Jan. 3 - Pittsburgh Steelers - 1:00 P.M. - CBS: Last game of the season. If the Patriots beat the Bengals and the Fins lose, the Pats win the division. If the Fins win, they're the AFC East Champs. Big Ben sits out the game to heal from injuries to his thumb, wrist, shoulder, ribs, back, hips, knees and 8 toes. Since the Steelers clinched the #1 seed when they beat up the Ravens the prior week, they go clubbing the night before the game. SoBe and the Fins win.

Record: 11-5, in my dreams .