Let's face it, the new Dolphins fight song is, uh, how to put this nicely, horrible. It's like new Coke, a failure soon best swept under the rug and forgotten. The change in songs was forced on an unsuspecting public apparently without any market research of its key demographic - the stadium fans. The evidence for this is the booing and derision heaped on the song during preseason games and in the media. Further evidence comes from people who suddenly defend the old song, which is embarrassingly oldy-timey.
You can't blame T-Pain for this. T-Pain worked with what he had and used what he knew to create the techno-pop version of the song. And what he had to work with was an old song which has hokey lyrics and a hokey tune and is played with hokey instruments. Instead I blame the new owner who seems to have a VH1 "I Love the 80s" taste in music.
Well Mr. Ross, the new song would be OK if listened to in a night club. Or if football was played in a South Beach hot spot. But it is not. Football is played in a stadium. The participants don't dance under glitter balls, they hit each other. And they hit each other hard. It is a tough, physical, gritty game where touchdowns are hard fought battles.
The stadium touchdown song should reflect this. Mr. Ross, I understand you want to appeal to a younger crowd, but could you appeal to their Rock 'n' Roll side instead of their inner Disco? There are a number of songs to choose from but it so happens I have the perfect song.
Imagine you're in the stadium and the Dolphins just ran up the middle for 25 yards and scored. While everyone is cheering and the players are celebrating in the end zone, a version of this song starts up and blasts over the loudspeakers. Play this after touchdowns and people will be able to hear the crowd for miles around. I guarantee you the crowd will go nuts. And they will continue to go nuts after TDs for years to come while that young demographic crowd you so covet grows up into season ticket-buying adults. After all, the kids already like this song.
So take some of that investor money you so recently received Mr. Ross and acquire the rights to this tune for a newer fight song [or maybe just exchange music rights for another ownership stake?] The words will need to be changed but it also just so happens that I have a first draft of the new lyrics below. Come on Stephen, turn the sound on your pc all the way up and sing/yell along with me to this song:
The ball goes so very high
Way in the sky
A TD once more
--
And on the ground
The ball we pound
All hear our sound:
--
I just love my Fins [Sing it]
I love my Dol-phins
Yeah, Yeah, Yeaaaaaaah
I just love my Fins [Sing it]
I love my Dol-phins
Yeah, Yeah, Yeaaaaaaah
The way we play
We're on the way
S'Bowl one day
And when we score
We just want more
And more and more and more...
I just love my Fins, [Sing it] I love my Dol-phins
Yeah, Yeah, Yeaaaaaaah
I just love my Fins, I love my Dol-phins
Yeah, Yeah, Yeaaaaaaah
Gotta love the Fins, the Fins, the Fins...
I just love my Fins, I love [my Dolphins]
I just love my Fins, I love [my Dolphins]
I just love my Fins, [Sing it] I love my Dol-phins
Yeah, Yeah, Yeaaaaaaah
I just love my Fins, [Sing it] I love my Dol-phins
Yeah, Yeah, Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
And then the crowd yells uncontrollably, hugs each other, and collapses in their seats. Who knows, the song might even make Mandich's toes tingle. For the video I'm picturing Lenny surrounded by cheerleaders who sing the chorus "I just love my Fins, I love my Dol-phins" while wearing large afros colored to look like Dolphin helmets. Random groups of fans and tailgaters could also be shown singing the chorus, of course while sporting giant Dolphin afros. What fun.
Finally, Mr Ross, if you're bothered by what I wrote earlier, please don't be. I would hate to have someone as rich and powerful as you angry with me. I wasn't insulting you, just your perceived lack of taste in music. But if you are insulted, let me offer you the standard OPhinions apology ;> But in any case, get a new new fight song. And do it quick.
comments: OPhinions@yahoo.com